Reading Reflections: The Best Yes

I truly believe that this life offers us things right when we need them! So when Mary Marantz gifted us The Best Yes last month during our mentoring session, I quickly pushed it to the top of my reading list; and I’m thankful I did. Right away, I could see myself in many of the statements seen on the cover:

• I dread saying yes but feel powerless to say no
• I hope there’s more to life than my to-do list
• I’m a little overwhelmed and a lot worn out
• I’m drowning in the regrets of too many commitments

I’ve heard myself say many of these statements several times throughout both adolescence and adulthood. As a recovering perfectionist and an avid overachiever, I am no stranger to over commitment. I truly believe my intentions have always been in the right place, but that doesn’t change the fact that when we fail to leave space in our lives, we often miss the appointed opportunities that will present themselves when we start paying attention.

We can’t just say yes because there’s a project to be done. We have to say a Best Yes to the presence only we can offer. Be present in your life, right where you are, and dare to look. Look for the little everyday answers to decisions you have to make by being fully present.

And that act of “being present” will take you places. Some of those places will be no farther than the end of the drive-thru line with a biscuit in tow or a date on the couch talking with your husband. But then other Best Yes answers will send you on a wild and wonderful adventure.

My favorite part of this passage is “a presence only we can offer”. So often I’m guilty of wanting to be in someone else’s shoes that I forget that I was given this exact mix of talents, sensitivities, and personality traits for a very important reason. This, for me, is akin to continually reminding myself that I am exactly where I need to be, no matter how awkward it may feel.

And speaking of the subject, the next revelation came from a discussion on the awkwardness that is often inherent in saying the powerful word, “no”. One sentence in particular convicted me like no other:

[We must be] strong and courageous enough not to try and fake being a superwoman who can do it all.

Not only must I embrace the presence I was created to offer, but I must  be courageous enough to focus on these things alone instead of falling into old habits of people pleasing and trying to appear like I can do it all…like I have it all together 100% of the time.

The more I marinate on these truths (and I know they are truths because of how much I am trying to fight them – I grapple hardest with deep truths!), the more I want to become small in order to avoid them. Has anyone else ever dealt with that? I’ve had so many dreams lately about moving back to my hometown, which is very odd considering how ready I was to escape after high school. I was trying to discuss this topic with a friend the other night and we came to the conclusion that it’s basically a feeling of wanting to be the “big fish in a little pond”, rather than trying to make something of myself as a smaller fish in a big pond. And Lysa Terkeurst must have anticipated this, because she mentions it in another chapter of the book when she discusses a young woman who “would rather work her minimum-wage job and live with her college roommate for years than make the ‘wrong’ decision about the next phase of her life.”

So, putting it all together, I must feel empowered to be courageous, embrace the unique presence I’ve been made to give to the world, and stop playing small! Because, as one of the most brilliant quotes by Howard Thurman, sums up:

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Only I would add to it a bit. What the world needs is people who have come alive with the courage to be themselves, thus empowering others to do the same!

~ Rachel